Today I Needed to Say This ...

Today I finally got up the courage to say something that's been on my heart for a long time.

It's no surprise to anyone (well at least those I know pretty well) that it has been an incredibly rough past 6 months for me. I was in a situation that beat every single ounce of confidence I ever had out of me. It came to the point where I would have severe anxiety and panic attacks over the simplest things because I simply didn't think I was WORTHY or CAPABLE.

It was horrible.

It was terrifying.

It is something I hope you NEVER have to experience in your life.

My self worth was zero. I didn't believe I had any skills or talents or was worthy of anyones time.

The worst part is that I have a very hard time letting people into my personal world. I've become incredibly good as sitting and smiling and acting like everything is completely fine because I don't want to be "ungrateful" for what I have or a "whiner".

I'm not going into details because 1) I'd never want to put somebody or something in a negative light like that and 2) it's in the past and that's where I intend to keep it.

I have no hard feelings or ill will towards what happened. I was just in a wrong environment which didn't work for me. Simple as that.

The point of this post isn't to rant about about how horrible people or situations or life is. Life happens. The point is for anyone reading this to understand that you are worthy and talented and have value and if you are not seeing that in yourself you need to understand you might simply just be in the wrong environment. Some people thrive in one world where others simply don't.

If you find yourself in a situation that is causing you to lose your self worth you need to get out of it and move on to something new. It's scary, it's hard, but it is so worth it.

I am so fortunate to have been able to surround myself with people that love on me, encourage me, challenge me, and build me up. Because of that I have been able to climb out of my shell again and start to really excel at the things I love.

This doesn't mean that every idea I have is praised or that everytime I breathe people are worshipping me and telling me how wonderful I am. That's not healthy either. But I am finally surrounded by teams of people that SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE. It is truly amazing what a team filled of "Yes And" personalities (yes I did throw an improv reference in there!) can do together.

It's because of those people that I can truly live again and feel good about life. I don't think they will ever know how important they are in my life and how much I appreciate them.

It's amazing how quickly damage can be done from simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because of my experiences I feel called to invest in people and make sure no one ever feels the way I did. If you ever feel worthless, depressed, or invaluable I truly hope you'll reach out to me so we can get through it together. It sucks, but it also has an end if you surround yourself with the right people and opportunities.